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  • Writer's pictureJeff Davis

Is Love Making and Having Sex The Same Thing


A man is sitting at home and deciding that he is tired of being lonely. So he gets dressed and go to the local club where he hears music, has a few drinks and sees a lot of pretty women. He thinks to himself "tonight I am going to take one of these women home and we are going to make love".

A woman comes home from work frustrated and tired. She wants to unwind so she calls up a few friends, changes clothes and the girls go out to a club. She walks through the door dancing to the music and thinks " I am going to find me a man to have sex with tonight so that I can feel his arms around me and feel intimacy".

This man and woman lock eyes, start the small talk and it would appear they are going to leave together. Yes, they are going to make love. Or are they going to have sex?

We use these terms interchangeably to describe having sex. But I think they are not the same thing. One is a physical act while the other involves the heart.



For the woman who wants to have sex to ease the frustration of the day, her feelings are understandable. She just wants to feel loved (even though she knows the man she is with enjoying casual sex does not love her, just her body). However it is easy to settle for a night of passion as opposed to a night alone.

For the man he uses the term "making love" but in reality he knows he is not in love with any woman he meets tonight. Can it grow into love over time? Possibly. But for tonight it is only sex.



When you want to just "hit it" and satisfy the feelings that come from missing human companionship on a physical level, then you want sex. When you are looking for someone who you can not only have sex with but enjoy intimacy on an emotional level, you are looking for someone to make love to. However, in order to "make love" you must be in love, feel love and know that you are loved. Otherwise, it is sex.

Is sex wrong? No. Is making love wrong? No. Just know that the person you are about to get naked with and share your more intimate physical parts is looking for something from you. Is it love, or sex?

Find out and be prepared!

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