What's With These Marriage Vows?
Have you ever wondered about the vows people say prior to getting married? Did you know that unless you recite your vows, you cannot be married?
In the old days vows were considered promises. People were known to say what they meant and to mean what they said. Your word was your bond and many died before they would be guilty of breaking their word.
This practice of reciting vows to pledge our love and commitment to each other is vital to having a successful marriage. Sadly, too many people today see the vows just as words instead of something they are willing to die for.
I have performed dozens of weddings in my day. Sometimes people recited the vows I had prepared. Others wrote their own vows. Either way was fine but I believe people need to spend more time considering what they are saying instead of focusing on the choice of words used.
Consider these phrases that are common in some marriages;
"Do you promise to love, honor and cherish this person for as long as you both shall live?" This is a heavy promise. To truly love someone you have to develop a self less perspective towards them. Love does not hold grudges, is not looking to get even or grows into hate at some point in your relationship. Love is the glue that holds a couple together and the sticky stuff that pulls you back together when something has pulled you apart.
Honor is to place in a place of reverence and respect. We are told to honor our parents, those in positions of authority and those who have rule over us. Too many people focus on who they are supposed to honor instead of why it is right to honor them. Married people should place each other in the highest place of honor they can find.
Cherish is to deem as being special. Her smile. His touch. Her laugh. His jokes. There will be many things about your spouse that will cause you to want to cherish them. I can tell you that once you lose a loved one (your life partner) all those little things you use to cherish will furnish you with memories to last the rest of your life.
Think real hard about what you are committing to before you say those vows. And after you say them, let only death cause you to break them.